Doing the Difficult Work

We have been away from our blog for a while now. Things have been a little busy for Kathy and me at and the blog just kept getting pushed to the bottom of the list. Do you ever do that with tasks or important conversations? I know I do. I tend to tackle things I want to do first. I hate to grocery shop. I would rather create a meal out of what I can scrounge together from my pantry than darken the door of the grocery store.  I have a once-a -week grocery store rule, and if we run out of an item before the week is over then we do without.  My mom is of the generation and mindset that she could go to the grocery store every day and buy just what she needs for that meal. The thought of that drives me crazy.

The Joy of Completing that Task

Do you have tasks that loom over you? The stress of putting off a difficult task negatively affects productivity towards all other tasks performed. Doing the hardest task first means you are more likely to complete it. 

What happens when you finish that ominous task?  You feel great, like a subconscious burden has been lifted. It is funny that most of the time it takes less time than we think and goes better than expected. The buildup of the impending task in our mind is worse than doing it. Getting the hard task out of the way allows you to focus on other projects and creates a positive mood, which increases productivity.

Successful Conversations

What about crucial conversations? Sometimes, those are the tasks that we put off for an unreasonable amount of time. I am sure that many of us are putting off difficult conversations.  Why do we do it? Sometimes we don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings, or we are afraid of expressing our true emotions. We also worry it could make the situation worse. But if we ignore crucial conversations, it can hurt relationships and create other negative outcomes.  If you have been putting off the difficult task of having a crucial conversation, here are some things to remember:

• 90% of the time the person you are approaching already knows they have screwed up. Be as gentle as possible.
• Know your heart and stick to your core values. Know what it is that you want as a result of the conversation and keep that as the guiding force in the conversation.
• Explore the other’s path and extend grace to the others.
• Share your genuine thoughts, feelings, and interests and be open and respectful to what others have to say.
• Listen to what the other person is saying rather than think solely about what you are going to say next or cast judgment.
• Don’t forget your emotional intelligence skills in the heat of the conversation.

I encourage you to tackle that hard uncomfortable task first. Scott Allan, author of Do the Hard Things First: How to Win Over Procrastination and Master the Habit of Doing Difficult Work says “Decide before you go to bed each night and write down the #1 task for tomorrow. It is highly recommended to know this before you go to bed rather than waking up and making that decision. Your brain will begin working on the problem even as you’re sleeping. What you go to bed with is what you wake up with.” Let’s try this together and see what happens. Who knows may even learn to like grocery shopping. That’s the view from where I sit this week.