Embracing the Journey

The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche wrote extensively about achieving human greatness. His prolific writings included his description of his formula for human greatness: amor fati, which literally means a love of fate. His notable quote sheds light on his philosophy, describing amor fati, as an attitude “that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backwards, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it….but love it.”

Oh man this is difficult. Nietzsche’s thought is that no matter what comes your way, or how bad it gets successful people don’t just endure it but embrace it as their journey. This means no lamenting, no complaining, no wondering what if. This is the equivalent of putting on your “big girl panties” and getting the job done.

In and Out of Our Control

What happens when we begin to recognize that some things, even the hot messy things, are outside of our control? It reminds me of the Irish prayer that asks for serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. When we have the wisdom to know the difference a lot can change in our lives. At this point, we become better equipped to manage the stress of our daily lives and are free to manage challenges with strength. Bestselling author Robert Greene who wrote 48 Laws of Power said we need to “accept the fact that all events occur for a reason, and that it is within your capacity to see this reason as positive.”

It’s a hard leap to move from “why me?” to “yes me,” but when you do this you can look at problems as learning opportunities. Self-awareness is key to being an effective leader. If you read more about the philosophy, you see similarities in the emotional intelligence ideas that we have discussed in this blog before. In addition to self-awareness, emotionally intelligent adults understand their own emotions and the emotions of others.  They are able to manage anger, frustration, sadness, joy, and more in a balanced way.

Embracing the Idea

In my own life, I have tried to embrace this philosophy. As many of you know, my husband had a stroke 13 years ago and has been disabled ever since. Honestly, it is not fun being the caregiver for over a decade, but when asked I always say that in so many ways the stroke was a blessing in our lives. It has had ripple effects that will affect generations in our family and placed people on a trajectory that would not have happened otherwise. The stroke made him a better father and a better grandfather. Those relationships and memories will last much longer than my discontent over managing activities of daily living.

As an emotionally intelligent adult, and in recognition of amor fati principles, I am going to embrace what comes my way. I am not going to pout, I am not going to analyze, I will accept it and simply ask “what’s next.” That’s the way I see it this week from where I sit.